your positivity
is a ruse
more lies to tell yourself
in the chill of
early morning and lonely nights
dreading your $20 an hour job
wearing a pasted-on smile beneath sad eyes
darkening and puffy
suffering with a grin
–
in constant competition
with people
who you never cross the mind of
posting photos
in an attempt to gain approval
recognition
to be lauded over
applauded
that you now
are their superior
–
a man
a professional
secure and
has your shit together
–
you found yourself many times
in the woods
in the rockies
in athletics
in love
–
where will it be tomorrow
or the next day
the day after
so on
–
running
is not
the same
as progress
–
nor evolution
nor growth
–
i know
because i ran
and discovered i was caught in the wheel
–
we can’t run
from the things we carry
