your positivity

is a ruse

more lies to tell yourself

in the chill of

early morning and lonely nights

dreading your $20 an hour job

wearing a pasted-on smile beneath sad eyes

darkening and puffy

suffering with a grin

–

in constant competition

with people

who you never cross the mind of

posting photos

in an attempt to gain approval

recognition

to be lauded over

applauded

that you now

are their superior

–

a man

a professional

secure and

has your shit together

–

you found yourself many times

in the woods

in the rockies

in athletics

in love

–

where will it be tomorrow

or the next day

the day after

so on

–

running

is not

the same

as progress

–

nor evolution

nor growth

–

i know

because i ran

and discovered i was caught in the wheel

–

we can’t run

from the things we carry