as much as

it disgusts me

i still

love her

–

despite her

infidelity

the mind games

the constant

guilt

i still look back on the good times

–

she shaped me

groomed me

helped me discover so much

–

introduced me to

the highest highs

the lowest lows

guided me

towards manhood

–

i thought i

only

wanted sex

–

all i wanted was

love

–

the afterglow

post-coital bliss

enveloped in warm sweat beaded embrace

scent

of sex emanating

wet spot love marking

lust

and experimentation

–

baring my soul to

the one person

i allow to

see me

guard down

–

baring my soul

to her

every secret

exposed

–

i can’t forget that

–

no matter

how it ended

or the time that passes

–

here’s to you

pathogen rose

with the sweet lips and

thorn tipped tongue

blooming out of sight

for whoever prunes you